Great emotion

Use independent learning to comment on your classmates’ writing.  Remember that the main aim of this piece of writing was to capture some of the emotion of the man writing the letter.

Gabriel’s letter began, “I am writing this letter to you because of the monster called money.  It always asks and wants, more and more, but we can’t keep it satisfied for much longer.”   Do you think that makes an effective opening?

Nell uses dashes in the way we saw them used in The Silver Sword.  “In my heart – deep, deep down – I know this is the right decision and I know we will meet again and have a happier life.  A life where you, too, can be free.”  How do you think this works?

Now, take a deep breath and read these extracts from the part of Sylvie’s letter where she really gets going.  “… my heart throbs for you, my arms feel empty, my world feels dark and heavy, lined with sorrow….We must carry on this battle with fate, plough on through the murky waters of life and keep hope…. Our boat of joy, happiness and faith for the future has not sunk yet!”  

And how about this from Emily: “I love you more than you could ever imagine – two jewels of hope on a horizon that has never seemed darker.”  Another effective use of a dash too!


Author: class6TM

We are a Year 6 class at Rosendale School in West Dulwich, London.

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